Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
