Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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