he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
We have started to decorate penises.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
