I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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