Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Just invented taco cereal.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
