i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
