let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
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