You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
