I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Please don't give away my fajitas
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
