I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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