I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
