***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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