we should wear snuggies to the strip club
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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