I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
