so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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