Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
