You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize