"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
It's Friday. Sex?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
