Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
