Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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