I would go down on you faster than GM stock
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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