This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
