he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
