Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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