just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
