why didn't you poke me back
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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