Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize
