Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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