All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I just want to make out with him forever
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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