i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
