Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
