i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
