So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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