Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
