never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
