Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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