Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
