Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
