her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
