she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
