He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
