so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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