Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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