Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
