i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I think I died a long time ago.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize