On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
