Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize