she was so not down for the gang bang
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
