All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize