White coat. Heels.
Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
