Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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