Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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