So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
two words: eviction party
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
My vagina is officially offended.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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