you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
