I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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