he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
