PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize
