i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
high people should be assigned attendants
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
