nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
why do cheetos always look like penises
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
