My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
