fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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