I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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