I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
