This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
MIDGETS
????
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
