return my video game
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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