My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
