We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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