my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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