margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
