You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
