Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
