He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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