I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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