Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
