physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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