is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
The ass gains better be worth it
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